Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
