I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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