my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize