I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize