My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
