This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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