Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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