Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
