Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
