i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
