it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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