He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
