I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
