i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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