Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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