i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
