I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
