i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Enjoy the penises
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