And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
