normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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