I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
