We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize