best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize