i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
