IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
