UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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