Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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