there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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