I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
