Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
