they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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