omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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