just tell him i said nine months
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
