i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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