Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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