he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize