That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
