Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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