$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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