i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
