is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
