you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
