I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
