weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
