On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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