woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
