If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I CAN MOONWALK!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
