my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
