then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
