Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
two words...techno handjob
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
