if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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