The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
