maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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