Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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