my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
