you would pick up someone in the library
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
